.Editor's Note: The adhering to is the content of a character coming from Exploration Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), assessing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed significantly about specifics of this particular mission throughout the month I've been actually listed below, mostly for pair of causes: the 1st being actually that there has actually been actually very little time to perform that kind of writing, and also due to the fact that I am actually unsure exactly how comfy I am actually discussing ideas I provide friends and family along with the remainder of the world.Effectively, obviously the world transformed today. What I point out or do is quite slight matched up to the importance of what happened to our nation today when it was attacked through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I reckon. Difficult to understand at whom to route our anger and also fear ...I had merely ended up a lot of activities this morning, one of the most taxing being actually the physical exams of all workers members. In a personal talk complying with that, the trip specialist informed me they were possessing a very bad time on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He described the circumstance to me as ideal he understood it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was overwhelmed, after that frightened. My 1st notion was actually that this had not been a real chat, that I was still listening to one of my Tom Clancy tapes. It simply didn't seem feasible on this scale in our country. I could not also think of the details, even just before the news of additional devastation started coming in.Vladimir dropped in rather quickly, picking up that something very significant was being actually gone over. I waved Michael into the element also. They were additionally astonished and stunned. After our team signed off, I attempted to explain to Vladimir and Michael as ideal I could the potential magnitude of this show of fear in midtown New york and at the Government. They plainly comprehended and also were actually incredibly compassionate.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the pc to see where over the globe our team were as well as observed that we were happening southeast out of Canada as well as would be passing over New England in a couple of mins. I zoomed around the terminal until I found a window that would offer me a perspective of New York City as well as snatched the closest electronic camera. It happened to become a video camera, and also I was looking south coming from the home window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to be to have a strange flower to it at the base of the pillar that was actually streaming south of the urban area. After checking out one of the news articles we simply obtained, I believe our experts were actually checking out NY around the time of, or even not long after, the failure of the 2nd tower. Exactly how horrible ...I panned the cam during the East Shoreline to the south to observe if I can see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, however nothing was visible.It was rather difficult to deal with job afterwards, though our team possessed some to do, yet on the next track our company crossed the US more south. All three people were actually operating a couple of cams to try to get sights of New York or even Washington. There was haze over Washington, but no details source may be observed. All of it looked astonishing from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't envision the awful scenes on the ground.Apart from the psychological effect of our nation being actually dealt with and countless our citizens and perhaps some pals being killed, the most difficult sensation being actually where I am is among solitude.Next time ... I think the exhaustion and emotional tension got the most effective of me. I couldn't keep awake and also remain to write. Today was actually still tough, however our experts began receiving even more details, plus our team possessed the honor of chatting straight along with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that ensured our company that the ground teams would continue to operate as well as ensure our safety, and also the secure operation of the Place. Our team also spoke with our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the partners in the Program are actually all totally committed to continuing secure operations as well as support. These were actually certainly never concerns for me. I know all these people! The ground staffs have actually been unbelievably supporting, extremely understanding of the influence of the news, as well as have actually attempted to be as valuable as achievable. They have actually all been actually quite expert as well as concentrated though I can't imagine the diversion of this particular form of news being available in and also the thought and feelings that authorities properties might be vulnerable. They never ever missed a beat, even when transferring control centers. And a group of senior employees and also friends provided our company a quite in depth instruction about what was actually known and also what was being done in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was really handy as well as kind of all of them to carry out in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has also been actually helpful and also handy, making an effort to uplink news articles when our personal assets were actually unusable, as well as stating kind terms ...My crewmates have been actually terrific, too. They know it is actually been a tough time for me as well as the people on the ground, and also they've made an effort to be as even keeled as well as handy as feasible. Michael also repaired me my beloved Borscht soup for dinner. And also they offer me lots of space to think when I required it. They are actually quite considerate and also naturally shocked at whoever would certainly perform this.I understand a lot of individuals in Washington, plenty of folks that take a trip to DC and New York City, so many who are aviators, that I experienced certain I will obtain at least a few parts of bad news over the next handful of days. I acquired the first one today when I knew that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Pentagon was actually Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I met Chic throughout plebe summer season when our team remained in the D&B all together, as well as our team possessed considerable amounts of classes all together. I can not envision what he has to of undergone, and also now I hear that he may have increased even more than we may even consider through perhaps stopping his airplane from being the one to attack the White House. What a terrible reduction, yet I make sure Chic was fighting bravely to the end. As well as rips do not flow the very same precede ...It is actually challenging to illustrate how it feels to be the only United States entirely off the planet at a time including this. The emotion that I must exist with all of you, taking care of this, helping in some way, is difficult. I know that our company get on the threshold (or even past) of a horrendous shift in the past of the world. Several factors are going to never ever be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not simply for the 1000s and also lots of people directly affected by these hideous actions of terrorism, but probably for all of us. Our experts will certainly locate ourselves feeling differently concerning dozens of points, consisting of probably space expedition, however.It is actually awful to find smoke cigarettes pouring from wounds in your very own nation from such a superb viewpoint. The dichotomy of getting on a spacecraft committed to enhancing live on the planet as well as checking out lifestyle being actually damaged through such willful, horrendous acts is actually jolting to the psyche, regardless of that you are. And the know-how that every little thing will certainly be various than when our team released due to the time we land is a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our nation and also in our leadership that we will do every thing achievable to far better defend her and also our loved ones, and to bring fair treatment for what has actually been performed. I possess peace of mind that the great people at NASA will carry out every thing necessary to proceed our goal safely and securely as well as return our company carefully at the right time. And also I miss every one of you significantly. I can't exist along with you in person, and also our team have a very long way to visit accomplish our purpose, but be specific that my soul is actually along with you, and understand you reside in my requests.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the last character ... Fortunately, it's been actually a busy full week up here. And to confirm that, like our nation, our company are advancing our designated path with service customarily (as much as achievable). Tonight the current addition to the place, the Russian Docking Chamber are going to be actually released from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States opportunity), it will definitely dock along with us, at a slot certainly never utilized prior to on the nadir edge of the Service Module. This brand-new module will give us yet another spot to dock a Progress or even Soyuz and also will definitely provide a big airlock along with 2 useable hatches for conducting EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which our experts will definitely perform a few of prior to our company get back.The trouble before in dealing with today was actually inadequate information. The problem now is actually too much. It came at one time when email was restored, and there is actually inadequate opportunity to review it all! Plus it's as well hard to manage all of it at once. However I cherish obtaining it, as well as I definitely appreciate the great letters of help as well as friendship I am obtaining.Our company are flourishing on board, acquiring our job carried out, as well as speaking about points. Last evening our team possessed a lengthy dialogue over dinner regarding the significance of these celebrations, the feasible activities to follow, as well as what need to be actually carried out. After dinner, Michael resolved telling me that every email he received from close friends in Russia mentioned primarily to tell me exactly how regretful they were actually that this taken place, prolonging their acknowledgements, and talking to just how I was doing. Vladimir taught me the Russian term for "condolences" after talking with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian and also the English words are actually considerably extremely long to verbalize conveniently.) Really kind folks.For the final pair of days, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to transfer online programs of radio updates concerning the activity and also connected accounts, to see to it I was effectively educated. Every professional who has come on free throw line to talk about an operation or a concern contends some factor stretched introductions to me with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our team that due to the wedding day of remembrance in the US, all the time folks had been actually taking flowers and also edging all the wall surfaces of the US embassy in Moscow, as well as this night they were lighting candle lights in the road outside the consular office. Exactly how the globe has actually changed.Individuals all over seem to be to recognize the senselessness and scary within this strike. And also the remarkable loss. Moscow has coped with these kind of complications in the last couple of years along with flat and subway bombings, so they are as anxious to do away with this danger as our experts are. Yet all-time low line is actually that there are good people almost everywhere that intend to stay in peace. I check out that a kid asked, "United States is so good to various other countries, we consistently assist everybody, how can they detest our company a great deal?".I hope the example of cooperation and also trust that this space probe and all people in the program show daily are going to at some point encourage the rest of the planet to operate the same way. They must!Regrettably, our experts will not be piloting over the US during the time individuals are lighting candle lights. Do not recognize if our experts could see that anyhow. We did, however, find an incredibly uncommon and also attractive attraction a couple of minutes ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz booster. Our company were actually surpassing it and also it appeared concerning 3 mins after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sunlight hit our station, so it was still in the dark. It seemed like a large comet with a straight, wide rear silhouetted versus the dark planet beneath. In spite of some negative lights for a while as the sunlight struck our home window at a low perspective, I managed some video recording of it as to begin with our experts passed the rocket, and afterwards watched it start to mesmerize as it gained elevation and also speed. I recorded until major engine deadline and also booster separation occurred equally as our company came close to daybreak on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable sight in an extraordinary full week ...Life takes place, even precede. Our team are actually here to stay ... Frank.